The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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