laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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