Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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