Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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