I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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