dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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