Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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