I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We named our party play list daddy issues
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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