Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
