I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
