Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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