Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
