Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
