Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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