What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
