He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Are my feet made of real feet?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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