Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
