Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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