is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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