So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
