Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
