in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
