Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize