I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
