Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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