Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize