I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
