the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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