Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
