Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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