dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
