I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
