Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
