i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
