i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
