Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
