I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
