we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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