There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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