my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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