Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
