I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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