Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
