why do cheetos always look like penises
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
