I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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