You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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