My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Vodka?
Forever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I love you. Go after that dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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