even my farts smell like vagina
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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