I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize