There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
