He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
