Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dignity is for republicans.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
