just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
