after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
