We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
