Kiss
Puke
well you can't waste a boner
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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