We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
