The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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