Well douche your snatch and let's go!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
