well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
