I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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