Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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