I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
