I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize