It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
