we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
